Humbled

My father asked me Sunday night why I have been so charitable this year. I just ignored him because I don't like to vocally talk about things for some reason. Well here is my reason...

I am humbled. The past year and a half has been difficult for my family. My parents to be exact. Last year my Dad had heart surgery and then had to handle prostate cancer as soon as he had recovered. It was a difficult time for me since he has been my best friend my whole life. Not knowing about this type of cancer, I broke down the minute I heard. Luckily I have caring friends at work. Things went really well for him and he had been doing great until his stint caved and had surgery again for his heart. Thankfully my pops is old school and tough as nails.

Recently my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. If there is one person in the world that doesn't deserve this, it's her. Words cannot express how amazing she is. When she was young, she had to give up dancing and get an artificial hip. She was in a body cast for months. Since then, she has had to endure that aspect of her life since she was a teenager. Not being able to do certain things with her kids, activities she enjoys, etc. She also has Meniere's Disease, which is basically having vertigo the rest of your life. With all of this, she never stopped being positive. She never stopped being the sweet honest person I know and love. With the latest news, I couldn't help but think...Why her? She has a reserved spot in heaven, this I am sure of.

So with all of this happening, I am simply humbled. Humbled in the fact that life is precious. Things can be taken away from you at any moment. I am not looking for any personal gain. I am not a doctor. I can't help my mom or dad with any of these things. I can't help anyone with these types of problems. So I sat back and refocused on what I could do to help others. I will always be around to help someone out with a broken heart or someone who just needed to vent and take it out on someone, but I needed to step it up. I just want to be someone who is helping change the world. One act of kindness at a time. I hope you all can join me in trying to do more.

I have a facebook friend that started a page to post things on for charities and also for you to just know what is out there give a lending hand. It was a great idea and I love her for it. So go to this page, like it and stay informed on making a difference in peoples lives.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/United-Community/304933469527303

Thanks everyone for thoughts and prayers when I need them most.

Remember... Everyone is beautiful

C-Dub

Positive Vibes

I feel great. Well emotionally anyways. (Physically a different story.) I had been in this god awful funk that I couldn't shake and I did my best to hide it. But I have battled through it and I am not letting anything get to me. My kids are amazing as always. I am enjoying being busy at work and making a difference again. I am dating again, but keeping it fun and not expecting anything at all. So I can't complain to much.

Maybe its the holidays. I love watching my kids be excited for them. I still have a lot going on that could bring me down fast. But I can't allow that to happen. I have a family member in my life that needs nothing but positive reinforcement and that's what I am going to do.

Life is a blessing people. Family is everything. Never take it for granted and enjoy every minute of it. Be there for them and look out for each other. I love all of you and hope you have a wonderful holiday. Be safe.

P.S. Remember to look in the mirror and always tell yourself that you are beautiful.

C-Dub

My fingers hurt

Normally I would say it was a horrible weekend when your oldest is laying on the couch sick the whole time. That part of the weekend was awful. I hate not being able to take the pain away immediately for my kids. But on the brighter side, I picked up my new acoustic guitar that I have been wanting for quite sometime. I actually stopped playing for almost two months because I hated the one I had. It made my fingers hurt! I know I know they are suppose to. But this guitar was a beast. My friend who has been teaching me said it will go away after a couple of weeks of playing... It never did.

Back to my point... So while my girl was trying to sleep this cold or whatever off, I ran over and grabbed my new baby. I came home and played, played and played some more. I have been learning a little CCR Bad Moon Rising. Annnnd I gotta say.... I suck. But my fingers love me for not killing them all the time now. So I spent the entire weekend inside with my sick girl which has been shitty. But I got to play music really badly with fingers still intact.

What I am getting at, is don't skimp on a cheap guitar even when you are starting out.

Teaching has helped me learn

Well its been over a year now that I have had my kids on a full time basis. I have had some hard times, but a lot of great times. I may complain a lot about being lonely and being turned down on dates, but ultimately I get over it quick. I have two amazing kids that want to be with me all the time. When I do get the rare occasion to go out, my kids are always on my mind and I get calls from them telling me they miss me.

The past year has made me realize that being single and raising these two hooligans has also made me go after opportunities I never tried when I was married. I can't understand why that is. I am working hard at getting my baseball hitting lessons going. I have been working with friends to get me geared up for that. I am extremely excited for that chance. I have been playing guitar.... Hang on.... I have been attempting to play guitar and love it. Its a great outlet and has interested Taylor and Jaxon to learn more as well.

Anyways, here is a list of things I thought could help other parents or future parents out with. These are things that I have not necessarily learned in this past year, but overall...

1. Kids are lunatics.
2. Don't make fun of their dancing.
3. Take the asprins advice when it says to keep away from kids and walk away.
4. Do not let them watch Disney, Nick, Cartoon Network etc. on the big screen. You don't get it back.  
5. Have your kids take showers really really late. They just get sweaty and dirty again if its to early
6. Have their eyes checked frequently. For some reason they can walk by something laying on the ground and not pick it up.
7. Telling your kids that you are allergic to veggies does not work. They think they are too.
8. No point in having a California king bed. They sneak in at night and nuzzle up right next to you. Buy a twin and say tough... no room.
9. Enjoy the first year child's life of not walking or talking. Once they do, you long for adult conversations.
10. Do not assume that your kids will not pick up submission moves from watching MMA.
11. Yelling I love you to your 5th grade daughter in a semi rutarded tone as she walks to her class is entertaining and vengeful at the same time.
12. Don't scare your kids, they will get you back.
13. Let your kids win at board games.
14. Don't say something if you don't want it repeated at the worst and most inopportune time.
15. Teaching your kids how to turn your straw wrapper into a missile launcher can be a bad idea in restaurants.
16. Make sure your kids go to the bathroom before the movie starts.
17. Plan on sharing everything with them. Just make double...or triple.
18. Make your kids watch Hoarders. They may understand that they don't need to keep happy meal toys from four years ago.
19. Find a nerf ball and just throw it at them from time to time. Its great fun.
20. Last but not least.... When playing catch, do not turn your head and leave your groin unprotected. 

Love your kids with all of your heart. They are a preview of what heaven will be.

Talk at ya later

C-Dub

Perfect For Me

I think I am a hopeless romantic. I know it sounds corny, but I am. I am sure you all know I am divorced. I made my fair share of mistakes to get to that point. I am far from perfect. Although I am sure you all think I am. Here is the funny part. I have been on one real date in over a year. The deal is and this may seem like the wrong approach... But I just want to look at someone and just know. I want to just see someone and have that feeling that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you could be with that person forever. I don't know that I can settle for anything less. The problem is, when I see that someone and I ask them out, I get the (insert different 'no' answers).

It's times like these that I sit and wonder what it is about me that makes me so hideous? Is it me? Is it my divorce? Is it that I have two kids full time? Is it my living arrangements? Maybe its all of them. Maybe women just see the outside and not what I can give. Someone asked me the other day why I don't date? It's these reasons. I am sure I am being picky. I get that. But I don't want to make any more mistakes. I want to do it right this time.

I guess in the grand scheme of things, it's okay that I have been rejected the last five times I have asked someone out. I have two beautiful children that I am raising. I am not sure how I would handle a relationship and how that person would handle the time I have to put in for my children. I want to try, but its not easy finding someone who is perfect for me. I want it to happen. I think about it all the time. If you are out there, I can make you happy... Wherever you are.

What I would give to not have to shop...

I would give one of my testicles to not have to shop for school clothes. Now I know what you are thinking... Thats pretty absurd, preposterous!!! Its not that big of a deal, I have three. Its okay.

So I have a daughter that has a waist that flat out does not coincide with the length of the leg area. Thats been fun looking around. She has to wear these clod hopper DC shoes while nice looking, can become a dangerous weapon at any moment from them flying off like a friggin NINJA STAR!!! Her shirts are fun. Actually I love that part of her. She follows after me and just likes plain shirts. Asking her to try clothes on in the changing room is like asking the LDS prophet if he wants to get tanked.

My boy... Well he is still young and doesn't have much of a choice. I forget what it was like to be a kid and want cool things on your shirt. This year he will be representing the full cast of Mario Kart. uuuuhhhhh Ya... that's rockin little dude. But the kid is rocking a sweet Star Wars lunch box... Old School lunchbox!!

School shopping for me is about as fun as a root canal. Yet I got it done. I have little money now. ANNND next year someone will be hired to do this for me. I will start taking applications now.

Finally... some heat

I love everything about summer. I love the heat. I love just walking outside and feeling it just hit you. I would take it all year long. Its been an interesting spring and summer so far.

I have tried stay true to my promise about being a better friend to people. I think I have. Its also been tested. I feel like I lost a friend for trying to be a friend. That felt weird. I try not to think about it, but it comes back every once in a while. It festers and I wish I would have gone about things differently. I think I am growing as a person and as a friend to people. So I just keep on keepin on.

Glad baseball is over. I had some good little ball players and it was fun watching Jaxon transition into a hard working player. He wants to get better and even with the season over, he still is asking questions, practicing, watching games with me. I love it.

I have been really excited to start a page dedicated to sports. Been trying to get more people involved and more aware of it. Hoping to have some fun with it as well.

I don't have a lot to talk about lately. This spring has been all about Baseball, Soccer and work. I could go into depth about my personal feelings and shit, but really.... thats no fun. I hope everyone is having a fun summer. Stay thirsty my friends.

C-Dub

Vaca for the kids

My kids are going on vacation with their Mom tomorrow. I have already cried three times and they haven't even left yet. I sit and wish that it was me taking them somewhere. But its just not in the cards right now. I have had a lot of emotions as this date approached. I love having them everyday and have had it that way for awhile now. They are my best friends. I love spending every minute I can with them. Its only for five or six days, but I am not going to have any idea what to do with myself.

I protect my kids. Maybe over protective...okay a lot. But I am trying to reduce that so they can experience life. Make em street tough! I want them to understand they can do anything they want. They need to take it if they want something bad enough. They both have already shown to me that they have that desire. Dream big! Go big! No matter what, I will always be there for them. I just worry what I am trying to teach them may get changed based on other people on their lives. So I am having such a hard time right now.

We have formed such an amazing bond. Hopefully a bond that will last for all of our lives. Knowing what we have done for each other, knowing that they have changed me as a man. Hopefully knowing that I have changed them for the better. They are caring beautiful children. I may not portray it, but I am one of the luckiest guys alive.

Whatchu got?? ....Nuttin man

I have not blogged for a while and to be honest, I really don't have anything to blog about. So I am just giving a good ole fashioned update.

For some reason, I decided to coach baseball again. I just can't bring myself to let someone else coach Jaxon for baseball when I clearly know everything there is to know. The hard part is going to be coaching Jaxon and Taylor is playing soccer. I hate that she is so good at it. Stupid soccer. But I support her no matter what. Jaxons swing has really improved over the winter. I have only had a couple of practices and a few parents have complimented me about him. He is six years old and taking on a leadership role. Keeping the other kids from goofing off and hustling. Extremely proud of that little guy. Taylor has turned into a flat out skater. She spends a lot of time outside to board. She keeps begging me to take her to the skate park, but I am nervous.

Work has been insane as usual. I took a nice break from it in December. I was completely fried out. The hard part with that is, I still am. I have been fighting to stay motivated. I have to for my kids, but honestly I wish I had a few months off to recharge.

Love life... No love yet. I tend to think that the women I am interested do not want to give it a shot because of my situation. Having the kids full time. Having kids at all. Not being the get out and party a lot type. Its not me. It makes it a lot harder. But I am content. I wine and post shit about being alone. I have my weak moments. I am alone and do wish I was with someone. But I know that this is my life now. I put myself in this position. I wouldn't change it for the world. I have my two perfect children full time. Taylor begs and begs for me to date. She wants another girl in the house. Maybe someday. Maybe one day, that special someone is gonna wake up and realize I am a good catch. Duh! Come on already! ;)

Jazz season just about done. My pops didn't renew his seats for next season, so I bought his seat. Should be interesting because all my friends this year dog me...Assfaces!

Overall, really excited for the spring and summer. My favorite time of year. Excited to camp and get our 4 wheelin on. Excited to just be outside and chill. I am like Craig from Friday. But without Smokey. "How you get fired on yo day off?"

Well thats all I got ladies and genitals. Nothing exciting to report. Nothing funny to talk about. Motivation is needed. Maybe when this weather changes. Until next time peeps.

Peeeaaaace!

This game of golf I love so much

So here is the deal....

I am not the best golfer. I have my moments.. A few holes here and there where it makes you go back for more. Last year I worked hard on my driving. I am consistently hitting the golf ball for really good distance and hitting the fairways with a high percentage. I thank The Chad for the distance with the workouts I have been doing for a year now. Now the problem lies with my Par 5 fairway woods and anything from 100 yards out. I will be working hard on that this year.

But here is some advice and stories over the last couple of years that may help you...

My problem is, with all the hits I collected over the years in baseball, I can get in one round of golf. Stupid game! A couple of years ago, I was playing at gorgeous Valley View golf course. A deer was standing right in the middle of the fairway. I was trying to scare it and get it to move. So I thought... Well its her fault and I swung away. It was a high towering shot! To the right. Wayyyy right. So I guess the deer knew the best place to stand after all. I hope God knows to just wipe out all the times I used his name in vain since the course is where I happen to use it the most.

The hardest part about golf is the mother effing cost! And its not the cost of playing. Its the clubs I keep losing. Someone asked me once "Why did you get a new putter?" to which I replied "Since I learned that the old one didn't float to well." Here is a rule for you all. If you are going to throw your clubs, make sure its down the fairway or to the next tee box. Saves you a lot of time and money.

I also suggest that you always go golfing with someone else. So when you hit the ball. The other person can also say.. "I have no idea where that went??" Then you can look together. Its like a mini adventure.

Then there is always the free show you might come across of a couple using the golf cart like its prom night in a limo. I mean full on.... like...GET ME SOME POPCORN!!

But most importantly...The laughter. It is hard to beat a day on the course with some good friends and most importantly. My father and brother. We will do anything for a laugh and we will always...always drive by someone ready swing and run over their golf ball. Its a tradition.

And finally for all you married folks out there who will be to worried about not going out to get a round in because of the Mrs. Just put it this way to her: "Honey... I go golfing, or we get it on?" She will throw the keys at you is my guess.

I hope this helps and I will see you out on the course. Come on spring and summer. Lets get sexual.

I don't get sick

I never get sick. If I do, its minor. I never call in sick to work. Laying around at home accomplishes nothing. I can be sick and get stuff done at work. But today I just couldn't do it. I looked at my screen and went into a dizzy blank gaze. Being told to go home was probably the best thing for me.

So I got to come home and sleep it off for 45 minutes before having to gt my boy from school. Its days like today that are rare for me, but wishing I had that someone to help me out with my kids. Help me with myself. I got a 6 year old boy that is trying to take care of me. All he can do is say 'I will give you hugs to make you feel better.' Then of course its me taking care of him. Which is fine. I will always put myself aside to help these little shits. I love them more than anything in this world.

Effff I hate being sick. So dumb.

My Best Friends Birthday!

I blogged about my boy Jaxon for his B-day, so now its time for Taylor's. Here is the deal with this girl. She is by far one the most awesome girls on this planet. Since she was just a little tyke, she has done just about anything to get a laugh. Not much has changed over the years. She will still do anything for that laugh. Taylor is also one of those kids you envy in the fact that it doesn't take much for her to learn something. She is athletic. She may be the next girl version of Tony Hawk. Who knows? The best part about her, is she very loving and social. I was very shy when I was younger. Her Mom no different. So watching her outgoing personality has been really fun to watch.

She is a movie goer like her Dad. She can quote movies and has started to correct mine. She loves to get on her 4 Wheeler and ride all day when we go camping. She has a great English accent she has been working on for no reason. But we talk to each other like we are from England a lot. I have no idea how it started?

Taylor is a great sister to her brother. She is always willing to help him with things he can't do. Jaxon wants to do all the stuff Taylor does. She loves playing with him and they love each other very dearly. I have to separate them at times, but for the most part they are so good to each other. Its fun watching them play together.

Taylor is my best friend. We laugh, we love and we have fun. 10 years have gone faster than I wanted. She is growing into a beautiful young girl who I admire and adore with all my heart. She is the other rock in my life that keeps me grounded. She takes care of me when I need it most and has put my feelings first these last couple of years trying to make me happy. She is an incredible person. I have forever changed as a person because of her. 10 years ago today, I became the proudest father in the world. I love you so much Taylor Lynn Wolfley! Thank you for being you. Thank you for the life you have given me.