The Office...Pranks

At my work we pride ourselves on a good practical joke. You have to lock your computer when you leave your desk. I make that mistake frequently and I pay for it. I came back to a wallpaper with Wizards of Waverly Place. It was pretty good, but I cant say I don't watch that with my kids. I have switched some keys on a keyboard over just one so its not noticeable. Changing the mouse buttons always good for a laugh. My truck got moved once, but didn't go over to well.

Then there are the bigger ones. My bro at work (Chad) is always the target. Someone posted a KSL ad for free chickens and had his work desk and cell phone. He got call after call after call and was probably the funniest thing I had ever seen. Then recently Chad got an email from his boss to call a Mr. Lyon and help him with a problem. Well he called the Hogle Zoo asking for Mr. Lyon. He asked three or four times for him. Finally the guy on the other line was like "dude I think you have been had."

We do get work done. Promise. But drop me a line if you have a good one. Also, if you use any of the above, please PLEASE let me know how it went.

The beast that is Lagoon

So this is the first year I took my kids to Lagoon on my own. I had an amazing time, but it drained me as well. There was no way around it, I had to go two days in a row. I did this so Jaxon can ride his little kid rides Saturday and bounce back today for Taylor and me to go on the big rides. Yesterday was really amazing to watch Taylor be a big sister. She was very caring and went on any rides she could with Jaxon. There was only a couple of times Taylor got really antsy about going on other rides, but she handled herself so good. Well that is until we got home and the fighting commenced as usual. It was odd to be so wore out by not doing to much. All the kid rides are in the same spot for the most part. But I was pretty tired. I was pretty excited to go to sleep last night and laid in bed until 2:00 am until I fell asleep. I think I got a good hour of sleep in until Jaxon had come into my room, fell asleep and then kicked me in the balls to wake me up and stand guard for the night. I am thinking because this isn't the first time this has happened, I might start sleeping with a cup on.

Round 2....So we get to Lagoon at 10:00 thinking that's when it opens and had to stand in line until 11:00 for the rides to open. Oh definitely go to Lagoon on a Sunday. You walk onto rides. Barely any waiting. Anyways.. Taylor has no fear at all. I love that girl!! We did all the rides we could a few times and I got a little sick from it. Wicked was pretty good. First time I have gone on it because the line was always to long. Same with the Spider. That one actually scared the shit out of me. Taylor loved it of course so we went a couple more times. It was a great day with her. I love just spending time with my daughter. She is truly one of the most fun and entertaining people I know. But after these two days, I am flat out drained. I am trying not to complain, but good hell!!!

One thing for sure is, there are no cheap thrills when you go there. My pockets are empty! I am also trying to decide if it was the rides that makes people sick or the substance they call food there? I also didn't get to try any theme park pick up lines since my kids were there. Just the basic ones...Like "Wanna ride my roller coaster?" or "I wanna throw my balls in your basket." I was gonna try "Do you wanna try the ring toss on on me?" Oh well, maybe some other time. You thought I would just blog and not throw in a couple of jokes??? Come on!!!

All in all I had an amazing time with my little ones. Tired as hell, but WELL WELL worth every minute of it.

Hey look Gary my main man Wells made the picture!!

My Monday Meetings

I cant help but wonder the amount of work that doesn't get done based on the amount of meetings that occur at the work place. I have a meeting with the developers I work closely with every Monday morning. It's a great meeting for me to sit back and enjoy the amount of nothing I apparently know while they truncate their IPEC server and DNS to the Apache server to hit the Tomcat machine???? Its all a bunch of languages that can consist of abbreviations and unnecessary overly used technical wording. They do this to see who can out duel each other until someone gives in and can finally get on their knees raise their arms and hand over the pocket protector like they were passing the torch of computer wisdom.

Well then there is our team meetings of just the testers. I use the phrase 'just the testers' because we are the cool kids of the I.T. world. We are the kids that you want to sit by at school. We dress normal, we shorten words in a good way. We don't limit our conversations to just other I.T. people. We joke about things that don't involve a hard drive. We make jokes about things that are completely inappropriate at the work place. I feel bad for our Manager because it could take our meeting about 3 minutes to get ours over with. But we tend to stretch it out as much as we can and make jokes about anything. So sometimes I can see he is thinking 'Good god why did I take this group?' My Mondays brighten up at 2:00 (when I am on time). It's the best Monday meeting you would want to be a part of. I could really take notes in our group and have a blog just about the meetings. Hmmmmmmmmm?????? But then there are sometimes... We are not that fun

So what did I accomplish on this blog about meetings? Developers talk in abbrv. My team is the shit! Meetings on my Mondays can be more than hilarious on both scenarios.

Why I hate world cup and the sport of soccer

Everybody knows I hate this damn sport. So this is more a rant blog. It really sucks that Taylor is an amazing goalie keeper person. But here is a list of reasons why it sucks.


1. World Cup is suppose to have around 32 teams playing in it. When they could really condense it if they just said Europe.

2. I like to call it being sniped. If someone gets hurt they are on the ground like a sniper from the stands just tagged them. Remember Mcnabb played a freaking football game with a broken leg???

3. I read somewhere that the average soccer player runs 4 miles in a game. Ya at 3 miles per hour. Soccer is like watching lord of the rings, a lot of running around on camera.

4. Ending a game with a penalty kick is like asking baseball to forget extra innings and have batting practice to determine a winner.

5. Here look at this yellow card!!!! oh oh you want to look at me that way RED BUDDY!!!!! ooohhhhhh

6. The mental stability of fans scares me. Ya know like murdering a player for doing something wrong. Or killing yourself because your team didn't win.

7. Do they think its cool to only have one name? Shit lets get Madonna out there.

8. Zero not nil

9. Soccer fans argument that it is the most popular sport ends there. That is where it ends to. Imagine if they could play NFL football as often as they get sniped.

10. THEY ARE WALKING ADVERTISEMENTS!!!!

11. The clock counts up and it never ends when it should. As a friend of mine said they use an actual hour glass and guesstimate.

12. The Goalie is a douche and thinks he needs to wear a different jersey then his own teammates.

13. Umbro markets Zyklon, a type of shoe, to soccer participants. Zyklon was the name of the gas used to kill Jews in WWII.

14. Singing chants at soccer games? It has no intimidation to other teams. It has no purpose.

15. Our really popular MLS team won whatever they call their Superbowl game and all 10 people showed up to celebrate it when they got home. We didn't even give them a parade. They brought the most famous player in the sport to our league to boost attendance and popularity and still nobody cared.

So there you have it. Soccer sucks.

Oh and if you have an opinion that does not agree with mine. I don't care so don't bother.

Punch this guy

If you see this guy, PUNCH him!!!! Not the super cute girl. But that guy is okay. This is my friend Chad. For some reason unknown to me, I started working out with him a little over a month ago. Because of this guy, I cannot move very well pretty much on a daily basis. The workouts this guy comes up with makes me believe that he does it just to see if I will try it. I know he is laughing to himself and sometimes out loud...'he is actually doing it'.

Joking aside I truly appreciate him helping me out to get in better shape. To bad I still look like Tommy Boy approaching the hot girl by the pool saying... 'You know where the weight room is? I'll check it out.'

I guess in the long run I started working out because now that I have to date again, I need to look better than I do. Because right now, if I decide to stroke out or have a heart attack from working out, I at least know I got plenty o' cushion to fall down on. So Chad as I have said before..Thank you. But I hate you. In a loving way.

Peace

C2theDub

I know the difference between a bit and a byte

My family has had this impression that I know all there is to know about fixing computers because I work in I.T. The fact of the matter is....not to much. I mean I know some stuff that I have picked up from great friends. But if you ask me to fix your computer, its going to be the same answer about 90 percent of the time....'Reboot'. Thankfully I have friends that do help me if I cant do it. They get a lunch out of it.

My patience has been tested this last year trying to help my parents learn to use these things called computers. Ya know the hard things like scrolling, clicking the back button, copy and paste. The advanced classes. But I love them none the less.

So for now on when my family asks me to help them, it will be required to ask in Carla Tate form. To which I will reply...'NO BLUES!!!!'

My Adventure

Anyone who knows me, knows I joke around pretty much all the time. I try to make a joke about anything. A lot of them fail, but if I can make someone laugh at least once a day, I feel better that I made that persons day just a little happier with a smile or laugh. I have every intention of doing just that on this blog. I also intend to maybe use this as an outlet to just talk about my life and whats going on with it. I am not a person who reaches out looking for help so maybe this will help me just get some stuff out there. I hope anyone who reads this will enjoy it.

So here I am....here I go....life's waiting to begin. I heard that song listening to one of my favorite bands 'SafetySuit'. It was a video about their tour and they used 'The Adventure' as the song. When I heard the line I thought to myself...ya thats me in a nut shell.

I have made a lot of mistakes in my life to get me to this point. The only thing that has kept me going is two AMAZING children. My daughter Taylor is one of the funniest people I know. She is alot like me in that she always wants to make someone smile. She is a joker. She is beautiful and my best friend. We laugh and we love. My other little one is Jaxon. He is amazing in that he is just so loving. He always is willing to give you a hug and just tell you that he loves you. These two are my adventure. They define me as a person, as a father and a friend.

A new chapter is starting for me. I am going to make the best of it and learn from everything in my past and make it the best it can be. I hope you all enjoy the journey with me.