Perfect For Me

I think I am a hopeless romantic. I know it sounds corny, but I am. I am sure you all know I am divorced. I made my fair share of mistakes to get to that point. I am far from perfect. Although I am sure you all think I am. Here is the funny part. I have been on one real date in over a year. The deal is and this may seem like the wrong approach... But I just want to look at someone and just know. I want to just see someone and have that feeling that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you could be with that person forever. I don't know that I can settle for anything less. The problem is, when I see that someone and I ask them out, I get the (insert different 'no' answers).

It's times like these that I sit and wonder what it is about me that makes me so hideous? Is it me? Is it my divorce? Is it that I have two kids full time? Is it my living arrangements? Maybe its all of them. Maybe women just see the outside and not what I can give. Someone asked me the other day why I don't date? It's these reasons. I am sure I am being picky. I get that. But I don't want to make any more mistakes. I want to do it right this time.

I guess in the grand scheme of things, it's okay that I have been rejected the last five times I have asked someone out. I have two beautiful children that I am raising. I am not sure how I would handle a relationship and how that person would handle the time I have to put in for my children. I want to try, but its not easy finding someone who is perfect for me. I want it to happen. I think about it all the time. If you are out there, I can make you happy... Wherever you are.

What I would give to not have to shop...

I would give one of my testicles to not have to shop for school clothes. Now I know what you are thinking... Thats pretty absurd, preposterous!!! Its not that big of a deal, I have three. Its okay.

So I have a daughter that has a waist that flat out does not coincide with the length of the leg area. Thats been fun looking around. She has to wear these clod hopper DC shoes while nice looking, can become a dangerous weapon at any moment from them flying off like a friggin NINJA STAR!!! Her shirts are fun. Actually I love that part of her. She follows after me and just likes plain shirts. Asking her to try clothes on in the changing room is like asking the LDS prophet if he wants to get tanked.

My boy... Well he is still young and doesn't have much of a choice. I forget what it was like to be a kid and want cool things on your shirt. This year he will be representing the full cast of Mario Kart. uuuuhhhhh Ya... that's rockin little dude. But the kid is rocking a sweet Star Wars lunch box... Old School lunchbox!!

School shopping for me is about as fun as a root canal. Yet I got it done. I have little money now. ANNND next year someone will be hired to do this for me. I will start taking applications now.

Finally... some heat

I love everything about summer. I love the heat. I love just walking outside and feeling it just hit you. I would take it all year long. Its been an interesting spring and summer so far.

I have tried stay true to my promise about being a better friend to people. I think I have. Its also been tested. I feel like I lost a friend for trying to be a friend. That felt weird. I try not to think about it, but it comes back every once in a while. It festers and I wish I would have gone about things differently. I think I am growing as a person and as a friend to people. So I just keep on keepin on.

Glad baseball is over. I had some good little ball players and it was fun watching Jaxon transition into a hard working player. He wants to get better and even with the season over, he still is asking questions, practicing, watching games with me. I love it.

I have been really excited to start a page dedicated to sports. Been trying to get more people involved and more aware of it. Hoping to have some fun with it as well.

I don't have a lot to talk about lately. This spring has been all about Baseball, Soccer and work. I could go into depth about my personal feelings and shit, but really.... thats no fun. I hope everyone is having a fun summer. Stay thirsty my friends.

C-Dub

Vaca for the kids

My kids are going on vacation with their Mom tomorrow. I have already cried three times and they haven't even left yet. I sit and wish that it was me taking them somewhere. But its just not in the cards right now. I have had a lot of emotions as this date approached. I love having them everyday and have had it that way for awhile now. They are my best friends. I love spending every minute I can with them. Its only for five or six days, but I am not going to have any idea what to do with myself.

I protect my kids. Maybe over protective...okay a lot. But I am trying to reduce that so they can experience life. Make em street tough! I want them to understand they can do anything they want. They need to take it if they want something bad enough. They both have already shown to me that they have that desire. Dream big! Go big! No matter what, I will always be there for them. I just worry what I am trying to teach them may get changed based on other people on their lives. So I am having such a hard time right now.

We have formed such an amazing bond. Hopefully a bond that will last for all of our lives. Knowing what we have done for each other, knowing that they have changed me as a man. Hopefully knowing that I have changed them for the better. They are caring beautiful children. I may not portray it, but I am one of the luckiest guys alive.

Whatchu got?? ....Nuttin man

I have not blogged for a while and to be honest, I really don't have anything to blog about. So I am just giving a good ole fashioned update.

For some reason, I decided to coach baseball again. I just can't bring myself to let someone else coach Jaxon for baseball when I clearly know everything there is to know. The hard part is going to be coaching Jaxon and Taylor is playing soccer. I hate that she is so good at it. Stupid soccer. But I support her no matter what. Jaxons swing has really improved over the winter. I have only had a couple of practices and a few parents have complimented me about him. He is six years old and taking on a leadership role. Keeping the other kids from goofing off and hustling. Extremely proud of that little guy. Taylor has turned into a flat out skater. She spends a lot of time outside to board. She keeps begging me to take her to the skate park, but I am nervous.

Work has been insane as usual. I took a nice break from it in December. I was completely fried out. The hard part with that is, I still am. I have been fighting to stay motivated. I have to for my kids, but honestly I wish I had a few months off to recharge.

Love life... No love yet. I tend to think that the women I am interested do not want to give it a shot because of my situation. Having the kids full time. Having kids at all. Not being the get out and party a lot type. Its not me. It makes it a lot harder. But I am content. I wine and post shit about being alone. I have my weak moments. I am alone and do wish I was with someone. But I know that this is my life now. I put myself in this position. I wouldn't change it for the world. I have my two perfect children full time. Taylor begs and begs for me to date. She wants another girl in the house. Maybe someday. Maybe one day, that special someone is gonna wake up and realize I am a good catch. Duh! Come on already! ;)

Jazz season just about done. My pops didn't renew his seats for next season, so I bought his seat. Should be interesting because all my friends this year dog me...Assfaces!

Overall, really excited for the spring and summer. My favorite time of year. Excited to camp and get our 4 wheelin on. Excited to just be outside and chill. I am like Craig from Friday. But without Smokey. "How you get fired on yo day off?"

Well thats all I got ladies and genitals. Nothing exciting to report. Nothing funny to talk about. Motivation is needed. Maybe when this weather changes. Until next time peeps.

Peeeaaaace!

This game of golf I love so much

So here is the deal....

I am not the best golfer. I have my moments.. A few holes here and there where it makes you go back for more. Last year I worked hard on my driving. I am consistently hitting the golf ball for really good distance and hitting the fairways with a high percentage. I thank The Chad for the distance with the workouts I have been doing for a year now. Now the problem lies with my Par 5 fairway woods and anything from 100 yards out. I will be working hard on that this year.

But here is some advice and stories over the last couple of years that may help you...

My problem is, with all the hits I collected over the years in baseball, I can get in one round of golf. Stupid game! A couple of years ago, I was playing at gorgeous Valley View golf course. A deer was standing right in the middle of the fairway. I was trying to scare it and get it to move. So I thought... Well its her fault and I swung away. It was a high towering shot! To the right. Wayyyy right. So I guess the deer knew the best place to stand after all. I hope God knows to just wipe out all the times I used his name in vain since the course is where I happen to use it the most.

The hardest part about golf is the mother effing cost! And its not the cost of playing. Its the clubs I keep losing. Someone asked me once "Why did you get a new putter?" to which I replied "Since I learned that the old one didn't float to well." Here is a rule for you all. If you are going to throw your clubs, make sure its down the fairway or to the next tee box. Saves you a lot of time and money.

I also suggest that you always go golfing with someone else. So when you hit the ball. The other person can also say.. "I have no idea where that went??" Then you can look together. Its like a mini adventure.

Then there is always the free show you might come across of a couple using the golf cart like its prom night in a limo. I mean full on.... like...GET ME SOME POPCORN!!

But most importantly...The laughter. It is hard to beat a day on the course with some good friends and most importantly. My father and brother. We will do anything for a laugh and we will always...always drive by someone ready swing and run over their golf ball. Its a tradition.

And finally for all you married folks out there who will be to worried about not going out to get a round in because of the Mrs. Just put it this way to her: "Honey... I go golfing, or we get it on?" She will throw the keys at you is my guess.

I hope this helps and I will see you out on the course. Come on spring and summer. Lets get sexual.

I don't get sick

I never get sick. If I do, its minor. I never call in sick to work. Laying around at home accomplishes nothing. I can be sick and get stuff done at work. But today I just couldn't do it. I looked at my screen and went into a dizzy blank gaze. Being told to go home was probably the best thing for me.

So I got to come home and sleep it off for 45 minutes before having to gt my boy from school. Its days like today that are rare for me, but wishing I had that someone to help me out with my kids. Help me with myself. I got a 6 year old boy that is trying to take care of me. All he can do is say 'I will give you hugs to make you feel better.' Then of course its me taking care of him. Which is fine. I will always put myself aside to help these little shits. I love them more than anything in this world.

Effff I hate being sick. So dumb.